Julia and I met in the summer of 1973 while on a college camping retreat in Taiwan. Each of us comes from families with five children. I am the second eldest brother, and Julia is the youngest child, affectionately nicknamed "steamed bun." After dating for four weeks, I invited myself to the house of Julia's parents. Julia's mother was less than impressed with me, and branded me a bandit.Fortunately, my good-nature, charm, and persistence eventually won the heart of my future mother-in-law. After five years of dating, at my request, my parents hired a family friend as a match-maker, and together we went to the house of Julia's parents for a traditional Chinese engagement process.
One month later, we found ourselves married. In the fall of 1978, we moved to Wichita, KS so that I could pursue my Master's in Electrical Engineering at Wichita State University. Then, in 1981, we had Dorris. In 1984, our family moved to Cedar Rapids, IA, thanks to my job change, where Dorris learned trick-or-treating at the age of three and piano at the age of four. She loved to go camping and fishing, and traveled with us to Japan and Taiwan to visit her grandparents.
My career took a dramatic turn in 1994 when I was asked by my company to relocate to China. As a supportive wife, Julia agreed to move, despite having to leave her promising job as a computer programer. Dorris, then 13, came home from school one day and told us; "Mom/Dad, you don't have to worry about moving me to China anymore because my best friend Amy has convinced her mom to adopt me." After a series of family meetings, Dorris finally agreed to come along just to check out what China was like - after all, I told her that it would only be a two-year assignment.
In Shanghai, Dorris went to Shanghai American School and continued to learn piano from a Chinese teacher, but disliked her teaching style. We sold the piano when we moved again in 1996, this time to Beijing. At the International School of Beijing, Dorris turned into an avid athlete, playing volleyball, basketball and soccer. By now, she had traveled to many new places, and made friends from various cultures and backgrounds.
We always gave Dorris sufficient space when she was growing up - she had one of the most generous curfews in her class, and did not abuse her privilege. The little princess grew up and chartered her own way to Boston in 2000 for her college study in International Relations at Tufts University. We took her to Medford for freshman orientation, thinking the occasion would be a significant milestone in her life, so we secretly planned a family dinner afterward. To our surprise, Dorris came out of her dorm and excitedly said, "Mom/Dad, I found a friend from China... You guys can go home now. Bye!" We sadly drove around the parking lot a few times before exiting the campus.
We have since learned to enjoy our life with an empty nest. After 31 years of marriage, we have since moved back to live in Shanghai, where I continue to work in order to support Julia's shopping habit. But our love for Dorris, and now Stu, never falls short because of the distance that separates us.
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